Skip to main content

Ban Bossy #banbossy

I guess I never gave t much thought. In fact, I never even believed most of it when I heard people talk about it. It could be that people talked about it in a way I did not relate to and now I do. So did people change, or did I change? 
I want to find out, because the block on believing in gender inequality over the last 30 years was a good and a bad thing. It was a good thing because I believed I had no limits, and it really did not matter - I excelled at school, I excelled at my work, I was given all the opportunities, by my parents, my employers, my professors. Believing you have no limits is on its on, the first step not to be limited. But then I recognise it was also a bad thing, because I failed to notice whether around me other people felt differently, I failed to stop myself for being even stricter at interviewing women, I failed to dedicated more time at recruiting women. 
And then it hit me, just like a cliche. Maybe it is like those self help books people talk about, where someone loves it and others can't go through page 10, because it is just not the right time in life and suddenly another one of those exact same books resonates and drives one to be different. Maybe that is what happened to me when I read #leanin. My sister said "you can't be an ambitious women in a high profile job without reading this book". As a good younger sister that I always was, I did as I was told, and I read the book. As I read through it I could not believe my eyes as they filled with examples of things I clearly had done because I was a girl, and not because it made sense. Like changing jobs to #leanin, risking going into a less interesting role, as long as that would allow me to maybe 3 years later, have kids. I was lucky, the job turned out amazing and much more challenging than my previous one. Pure luck. 
So now I follow #leanin and I try to not dismiss women stories like "feminist tales". So today, I went for #banbossy, and I downloaded the tips for parents. I am sure I am going to find a lot of mistakes I already do there, but I have time, C is only 11 months old. I got her a ball and I am banning pink princesses as long as she does not ask for it. She wears pink, blue, brown, yellow, any colour really as she looks cute on any anyway. And I let her do what any child, girl or boy will do, even if she gets all bruised. 
I used to think parents discriminated girls in #mozambique only by making them fetch water 2 hours away and not allowing them into school. But there is so much more than that

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

We are not afraid.. are we not?

I see signs saying we are not afraid. Londoners are tough and endured the bombings of WWII. But those Londoners are hardly the same as the ones here today. Yes people in general are resilient, more than we think we can be when looking outside out. That is anywhere in the world, not just in London. And truth be said there is merit in not letting fear control our lives and terrorism win.  Well I just walked into the district line, 5 stations away from Parsons Green and I am afraid. I am not shaking, crying or running away. But I am afraid mostly because it is all so natural. Life must go on I said, as I decided I was not going to cancel my lunch and avoid the tube. But that is what makes it scary. Life goes on and in an effort to not be afraid we recklessly do not change our habits and rely on the stats that more people die on the road then on terrorist attacks. Reality is, the law of probability does not matter because terrorist events are binary.  So I think about my frie...

Too low

Sometimes I feel too low. .  My job by nature involves a lot of rowing against the current, or sometimes just rowing on my own.  I have these immesurable drive to get results and some moments in th day, whére I look and evaluate what I have not progressed, it just brings me down. Today I almost cracked. It does not happen often, I must admit. Maybe I should have blogged during the day to help with the venting process.  An accumulation of incompetence, unwillingness and also just the absolute amount of work it needs to be done by a single person (me) has made me really question why bother. As B says, it's just money, and it's not mine. I wished I could feel like that today.  Maybe i just need to buy those supplements And naturally on top I feel like a bad mother. No matter how I spent the day thinking how I missed C, that wont bring me closer, and what does she care about my thinking. She wants me there. She has struggled with the last weeks, and has become more attac...

Wonderful day

What a wonderful day. I am grateful for this newly found ability to enjoy my surroundings. As this was the second weekend in a roll that we were in Lisbon, the should word was quieter than usual and B triggered the crazy thought. Let's just stay home and do nothing! Wow - can we do that, are we allowed? More than allowed, we do that in London all the time and it is possibly one of my few fears if I ever move here - the inability to do what we want over what others want.  We gave it a go and i indulged into cooking us a proper lunch. As we sat  to do nothing after lunch I commented 'what a luxury'. I truly was not familiar with the concept. And even better family came to visit so we had the combination of both worlds. I ended a day with a friend over for dinner over a bottle of wine. I am grateful for all the little moments that filled my day. I am grateful I did so many things I love in a single day, without even expecting. Thank you.