Home Away From Home

I usually fly by, potentially faster than time itself. As I started expecting #2 I tried to go into lower gear and let some things drop. I don't make it to the office at 7 sharp, I do no start up work, I recognise my brain can not process charity accounts every night, I dont tender to C's every cry at night. I thought I was doing pretty well.  As time went by I realized how tired I was and how my body was refusing to fly. It started to wear me down, how much I was uncapable of doing. In time I accepted age and everything else would not let me fly by pregnancy the same way as before. And I just had to accept it.  I was getting there, in the middle of agreeing a house move at 7.5 months pregnancy. And then I was left out of boss. I only have 10 pct more work but I have 200 pct more pressure and lack an un-measurable amount of support. And I am going away in 2 months. And I can feel the baby going against my sitting on the computer position multiple times a day. I am struggling a...

What a wonderful day. I am grateful for this newly found ability to enjoy my surroundings. As this was the second weekend in a roll that we were in Lisbon, the should word was quieter than usual and B triggered the crazy thought. Let's just stay home and do nothing! Wow - can we do that, are we allowed? More than allowed, we do that in London all the time and it is possibly one of my few fears if I ever move here - the inability to do what we want over what others want.  We gave it a go and i indulged into cooking us a proper lunch. As we sat  to do nothing after lunch I commented 'what a luxury'. I truly was not familiar with the concept. And even better family came to visit so we had the combination of both worlds. I ended a day with a friend over for dinner over a bottle of wine. I am grateful for all the little moments that filled my day. I am grateful I did so many things I love in a single day, without even expecting. Thank you.

All of me is playing on my brand new Amazon Music. I love it and I am on song one. I miss music. I realized it a while back, but now that I drive a short 10 minutes to the train station every morning I recognize my old self singing and thinking nothing for the short duration of the songs that the UK radios allow in the morning. They are clearly more into talking.  I sit after a night in with by babe C. I decided to take an easy one tonight and we had dinner in our brand new kitchen counter, reading stories and feeding each other (yes, she also fed me). I took it as peaceful as possible (within the constraints of having a feisty 2 year old) and we finished with cookies and cuddles in the sofa.  I now sit down with Lisbon and the river coming from the left of my window all the front and towards Cascais the lights on my right. I know it won't be a productive night but I also know it does not have to be. It is just what I need, after a happy day celebrating my Dad's 70 and h...

It is hard to keep up with all that is going on. Between buying a house overseas and moving house in London, even after having already decided on both, is practically 200% capacity. When you add the health layer between the scare from my bigsis, and the multiple concerns with what must be the disease of the century hitting different members of the family, the overload alert is already high. And then you add yourself and all that over-work does to you, physically and mentally, and the bar is too high. Never Mind adding normal life things.  It is hard to keep up, as i gets to a point where it is no longer personal choice but ongoing things life throws at you. I use my 'busyness' with the way I chose to lead life and do many things. Now I long for the day when I can make that an excuse again!