Skip to main content

Flying with time - or not

I usually fly by, potentially faster than time itself. As I started expecting #2 I tried to go into lower gear and let some things drop. I don't make it to the office at 7 sharp, I do no start up work, I recognise my brain can not process charity accounts every night, I dont tender to C's every cry at night. I thought I was doing pretty well. 
As time went by I realized how tired I was and how my body was refusing to fly. It started to wear me down, how much I was uncapable of doing. In time I accepted age and everything else would not let me fly by pregnancy the same way as before. And I just had to accept it. 
I was getting there, in the middle of agreeing a house move at 7.5 months pregnancy. And then I was left out of boss. I only have 10 pct more work but I have 200 pct more pressure and lack an un-measurable amount of support. And I am going away in 2 months. And I can feel the baby going against my sitting on the computer position multiple times a day. I am struggling again, but again I accept I can not do more. It kills me but I also know this new awareness rejuvenates me. It is part of me. A new vision that allows me to see limitations as a natural element rather than a painful flaw.
I am still dealing with the body limitations and learning how not to let them bring me down, especially as they are often unpredictable or sudden. But I feel like with small steps, i could even take a few assisted flights.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Time is what makes us different

I heard what is likely to become one of my top 3 favourite quotes on a podcast on Friday. "Time is the only real democratic asset. We are all awarded the same time, it is what we do with it that distinguishes us".  Now, I recognise that most of us need to work with survive and that is not democratic throughout. But on an equal opportunity basis, this is an interesting way of putting it. For many years I did not understand why MS thought my resume was so interesting. In fact, they chased me during the entire recruitment process, even though I had no idea of moving to London or Finance. I wanted to be a consultant and stay in Lisbon forever. But traditional consultants in Portugal saw nothing in me, and MS did not let me go. When I started screening resumes and hiring people a couple of years later is when I understood why I was different. TIME.  I was truly different about what I did with my time. Not necessarily the basics - choice of degree or anything. But really ...

Short one: D-Day

It is D-Day today :-) I took out the braids, and the clock is ticking. Bernardo will be in Maputo in two hours. We have plans for the weekend and so much to catch up on. I doubt I will be blogging soon, hehe

Blogging

I have not written in a while. As I hit the bottom I was afraid of what might come out and what might be registered in the web for eternity. But it does not matter. As I go through this stage I know that writing is probably one of the best things I can do, and keeping things inside one of the worst. And short of re-starting my book (or books) any time soon, as they feature about 27 in my list of things I wish I could do, this is just as good.  People used to write diaries, now they blog. I reas on facebook that people used to be upset if someone read their diary, now they get angry if no one reads their blog. It is a funny phenomena. I must say that most of times I think no-one is reading, so why bother, and even those reading won't miss it amongst all other things they surely read. But then a comment comes through, an email reminds me of something I wrote and I know that someone out there comes and visits my home away from home. For good or bad :)