Some days you can think it is all better even if there is no sign of improvement at all. I guess it is the sun out there and the fact that we can finally do a bbq and spend time outside even if that means I need to dress C in an extra layer. Yes, it is definitely below 15 but the sun and the terrace are too appealing. Yesterday I even had a pimms. The other thing is that I have been letting a lot out in the last 24 hours - writing, talking et al. It helps, it's the best way to keep you from going down, it's to grab the bull by the horns and make sure it does not become something you need to press down and hide. So all looks better today even though C is still eating for the last hour and spent the morning since 7am taking 10-15 minutes naps...
Sometimes I feel too low. . My job by nature involves a lot of rowing against the current, or sometimes just rowing on my own. I have these immesurable drive to get results and some moments in th day, whére I look and evaluate what I have not progressed, it just brings me down. Today I almost cracked. It does not happen often, I must admit. Maybe I should have blogged during the day to help with the venting process. An accumulation of incompetence, unwillingness and also just the absolute amount of work it needs to be done by a single person (me) has made me really question why bother. As B says, it's just money, and it's not mine. I wished I could feel like that today. Maybe i just need to buy those supplements And naturally on top I feel like a bad mother. No matter how I spent the day thinking how I missed C, that wont bring me closer, and what does she care about my thinking. She wants me there. She has struggled with the last weeks, and has become more attac...
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