I lived my birthday away, in a weekend I did not want celebrations. As I reached the end of my exhaustion line, I knew blowing up was half an inch away. Above all, I have been always very conscious of the sadness that was taking over, of the feeling of frustration, of the way I felt in an endless fight. I have given up on doing it all a long time ago but still I was not coping with the 'few' things I had focused on for this year. And as more stones came along the way, strength was gone to fight it. So I hope I have now hit the bottom and used this date I always celebrated so lively to turn the tide and have a re-birth. I have reached out for help and I know I am not alone.
I see signs saying we are not afraid. Londoners are tough and endured the bombings of WWII. But those Londoners are hardly the same as the ones here today. Yes people in general are resilient, more than we think we can be when looking outside out. That is anywhere in the world, not just in London. And truth be said there is merit in not letting fear control our lives and terrorism win. Well I just walked into the district line, 5 stations away from Parsons Green and I am afraid. I am not shaking, crying or running away. But I am afraid mostly because it is all so natural. Life must go on I said, as I decided I was not going to cancel my lunch and avoid the tube. But that is what makes it scary. Life goes on and in an effort to not be afraid we recklessly do not change our habits and rely on the stats that more people die on the road then on terrorist attacks. Reality is, the law of probability does not matter because terrorist events are binary. So I think about my frie...
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