Skip to main content

I have been away

I have been away. For quite some time. When my wise friend reached out to ask if I was ok, i realized how long it had been. And that was 2 months ago.
Truth is, life has not been easy on us this year. Health was not bad but was not strong and we had a few scares.  Nanny was gone and we were left juggling everything  with work put down on our llst. And now that js back up on the list, it has been extremely intense as I seem to remember hinting I was not satisfied in my last performance review. I can't even say I am now over with it, because I am chosing to write the morning after I was the one putting the lights of the trading floor on, as I walked by to leave at 1am. But I know I have to re-start somehow. 
Nothing was wrong this year, but also nothing felt quite right, Life was a struggle but nothing really zi would complain too much about. And i guess until it felt a bit better I did not have the mental ability to write. I felt too distant from everything. 
I am ready to come back, just as I am ready for my Vitamin D, where I have now put all my hopes (though I have not bought yet). I am also ready to stay back and engage more with myself. I even started noting topics I wanted to write about last week. 
The stars are not aligned yet but I am giving you fair warning - be aligned, I want to be back.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Time is what makes us different

I heard what is likely to become one of my top 3 favourite quotes on a podcast on Friday. "Time is the only real democratic asset. We are all awarded the same time, it is what we do with it that distinguishes us".  Now, I recognise that most of us need to work with survive and that is not democratic throughout. But on an equal opportunity basis, this is an interesting way of putting it. For many years I did not understand why MS thought my resume was so interesting. In fact, they chased me during the entire recruitment process, even though I had no idea of moving to London or Finance. I wanted to be a consultant and stay in Lisbon forever. But traditional consultants in Portugal saw nothing in me, and MS did not let me go. When I started screening resumes and hiring people a couple of years later is when I understood why I was different. TIME.  I was truly different about what I did with my time. Not necessarily the basics - choice of degree or anything. But really ...
1 comment
Read more

Haunted by journaling

Journaling is haunting me. In different places, posts, blogs, podcasts, workshops or books, I get brainwashed by the wonders of journaling, what it can do for my morning as part of a morning ritual of meditation. For many years, I thought if only I would journal, I would have a blog full of life, ideas that never end and a calm relaxed life, with my thoughts off my head every day, not haunting me for fear of being forgotten. I love a good empty page, be it on a book or a screen. To be fair, I even do better on a screen shining back with words filling faster than my hands think they can type and my eyes semi-shut to the wonders that can come by. I don't know what the end game is, I like it to go free. But I don't journal. I can't make up my mind if I want to give it a proper go or not, I don't like the feeling at "failing" some of these initiatives, I don't have much to say every day though I have random thoughts during the day that I which could be reco...
Post a Comment
Read more

HBS Reunion (a year ahead of time). A world of opportunity

I sit in a Spangler couch. ‘It looks like an  expensive countryside hotel lounge’ my sister said when she first came to visit. It is all that except for the hotel part. Unbelievably comfortable for a solitude moment or a chat around a coffee table. Designed for both.  I sit inside as Boston weather sticks to its reputation. 26 degrees for the 3rd day but rain has hit amidst the sun. Everyone is quick to reallocate. It is na odd environment, one where I am an outsider. It is not my reunion after all. And amongst all my strong interpersonal skills, I am still an introvert, which most people don’t recognise as truth (incl B really). Large social gatherings with people I don’t know get me exhausted. When I started going out with B, he was already out of the section ‘cult’ and I was full on my own cult. Our friends intersected in the international crowd and that was sufficient. And barely noticeable. But as I am here, with no offence, I belong nowhere. I am not in reunion but I ...
Post a Comment
Read more