Home Away From Home

I guess I never gave t much thought. In fact, I never even believed most of it when I heard people talk about it. It could be that people talked about it in a way I did not relate to and now I do. So did people change, or did I change?  I want to find out, because the block on believing in gender inequality over the last 30 years was a good and a bad thing. It was a good thing because I believed I had no limits, and it really did not matter - I excelled at school, I excelled at my work, I was given all the opportunities, by my parents, my employers, my professors. Believing you have no limits is on its on, the first step not to be limited. But then I recognise it was also a bad thing, because I failed to notice whether around me other people felt differently, I failed to stop myself for being even stricter at interviewing women, I failed to dedicated more time at recruiting women.  And then it hit me, just like a cliche. Maybe it is like those self help books people talk ab...

The word has different meanings at different points in time. At first, I thought it meant my self driven turnaround, taking back control and stop commiserating. Sooner than expected, the rug 'got pulled' from under my feet and it was explained to me that after all I would be given no room to do a turnaround.  Tears turned into anger, anger into frustration, and one more turn into a 'whatever' attitude that will clearly require another turnaround? But perhaps a real one this time.  In the meantime life goes on and funny enough the world keeps going around. Sadly I did not make the euromillions yesterday, I played hoping sometimes luck could hit home. That would be a turnaround!

A wise man once said - people may be nice to you but they may not always be kind. For someone like me, who likes to assume the goodness, or should I say the kindness in people, that is not inate.  I guess I never really stopped to think about of all those people who are nice to me, who would really step up the game and still be kind in the absence of a clear win win situation. Less absurd inverse correlation if you think of it like that.  Still, it does not mean I like the thought, it makes you second guess people, second guess thoughts and intentions. And even though this may be how a lot of people operate, it still messes with my mind. I guess my coach was 'spot on' when she said I am extremely values driven and I operate on the basis of what is right or wrong, as per my own values, naturally! That means multiple, somewhat persavive things - first, when other people operate under a value driven approached but based on a different set of principles, I find it just plain wrong...