A friend of mine told me last week 'it's like a domino, if one thing does not work, everything is out of place'. He fully underestimated the impact of his words and every day since then I think about the analogy. His point was even, are you really living if you are just following the domino along? I mean, I guess it is good if you got your system well figured out to do all the things you love but what if you need to add an extra piece?
My system has become very stable. 7.00 I get up, most of the times lucky that C had a restful night. Most of the times I still wake up dead tired, much of it thinkong ahead. Shower, clothes, bag and if C is sleeping I will just head out just after 7.30. Some days I prefer she does not wake up so I can dash and start work early or not have to say bye to those little eyes staring at me and knowing I am leaving. But most days i quite enjoy our little moment, I sit her in my bed and she babbles, smiles, claps, and gets me ready for the day. She loves it the most when I chose to blow dry my hair - it's a wonder for her.
Out of the house the commute gives me time to clear out A little gesture emails that came overnight, mostly from my sister in Brazil or just listen to the economist if the tube is too packed that i can't even hold the iphone. As i get to work I multi task through my to do list, emails, projects and conflicts just focusing on getting the most done before my target exit time. In general i avoid seeing people for coffee or lunch as it takes too long out of my schedule - but i have recently tried to ammend this into a 'once a week' outing trying out the wonders of eating without a screen in front of me.
6 oclock has passed and I start my countdown. Because my target is 6, I feel bad for every minute that goes after it and clean up what can't be left or grav for my bag what needs a view later. It's time to go - not just because the nanny needs to go but also because I want to be there. The commute back has started to be jammed again, I did not know there could be so many people in the tube from my previous live leaving much later in the day. I try to go through a duolingo german lesson and who knows perhaps blog. Candy crush is always an option.
I getting home and eagerness grows. I have every minute counted now. If i make it before 7.30 perhaps we can still play - if not it is bath, pijama and dinner. Thank God for C being so easy and playing through the bath, being more difficult when i want to get her dressed and being so easy to eat dinner. She just won't drink water. You can't have it all. We still get playtime after dinner, perhaps some skype with the family. Bedtime arrives - we read and we pray.
Another part of my day begins. It is far from over yet. We get dinner ready - table and talk or sofa and tv? Most week days we get lazy. And then do I have work work to finish? If not, I have A Little Gesture work, always, non stop. It never ends and i keep being the bottleneck. So i give it a go. Sometimes too tired and with the laptop in my lap (hence the name), others i try to focus and make B listen to the tv with the wifi headphones i got them. Yes - i got home wi fi headphones, specifically for this.
And then it is 11.30 and time for the milk and get ready to bed, if i behave and don't stretch it past midnight. Sometimes ai have a dinner, a night out, but that is a juggling of the domino for the rest of the week. Sometimes it is too tiring to fit that in. And it's 7am, alarm clock is ringing.
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