Sometimes I feel like I am losing it. I just can't do all the things around me that need to get done, the move and stuff for the new house, the coming back to London, the reunions with old friends, the training, the studying and most of all the NGO things accumulate and I just seem not to be able to cope. I sleep worse every day, I am more tired when I woke up, tonight I even dreamt of FSA regulation. And my to do list keeps growing and I am the bottleneck in so many things. In fact, I am almost not being able to run a to do list anymore. Some days it is hard to see the light in the end of the tunnel, or shall I say the crosses all over the to do list. I don't know where to start, I have troubles prioritizing and I don't see how it can get better. We are too few for what we are doing and I am afraid sometimes it can all fall apart. I just had to let it out, I can't always keep the spirits up...
I see signs saying we are not afraid. Londoners are tough and endured the bombings of WWII. But those Londoners are hardly the same as the ones here today. Yes people in general are resilient, more than we think we can be when looking outside out. That is anywhere in the world, not just in London. And truth be said there is merit in not letting fear control our lives and terrorism win. Well I just walked into the district line, 5 stations away from Parsons Green and I am afraid. I am not shaking, crying or running away. But I am afraid mostly because it is all so natural. Life must go on I said, as I decided I was not going to cancel my lunch and avoid the tube. But that is what makes it scary. Life goes on and in an effort to not be afraid we recklessly do not change our habits and rely on the stats that more people die on the road then on terrorist attacks. Reality is, the law of probability does not matter because terrorist events are binary. So I think about my frie...
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