Home Away From Home

I started hooping. I decided to put it on 'paper' so that I stick to it. Mostly, I decided because of T's passion but I must admit I am attracted to the idea of flow. I feel my life lacks flow and maybe on creating physical flow the mental will follow too. And let's face it, if mummy tummy goes away while I have fun practicing something new, feeling like I am learning as I have not done in years, I am in. No, pilates did not count as learning, it never left the pain stage.  What I also like about it is that it flows with me. I do it when I want or am able to do it rather than on a schedule. I do it at home or in the terrace, after C is asleep or if she is away. And for as long as I want too, as structured as I want to. A sport that flows with me has ti be my sport. I used to think surf was my sport but given I stopped going to the beach every week it kind of stopped flowing with me. Si this is my new commitment.  And given I know myself, I am committed to do it every da...

I read this article today, and i was going to share it on my facebook I realised ot had the limitation of being in Portuguese.  So I just thought I would bring some pieces here! I am sharing it not because i feel it myself, I actually feel very blessed B is so supportive and actually pushes me to ask for more. And I can't help my thing of my favourite Indian girlfriend.  "The generation of women that was created to be everything a man DOES NOT want' Sometimes I catch myself imagining an hypotetical man that describes the woman of his dreams "she has to study and work a lot and have a permanently full email inbox. Her feet should have blisters because she continuously walks back and forward in her high heels. She should be independent and do what she pleases with her own salary: buy an expensive purse, donate to a social project, make a trip though Europe on her own. She needs to drove well and understand about taxes. Cooking? She does not have to. There is a certain c...

No, not me, just life in general. It can never br smooth, it can never be easy, it can never be peaceful. There is one single say that I am able to say all went as planned, even if I dom't plan everythimg, even if I cancel all my trips. It is exhausting, desperating even, trying to keep calm at all times, in the face of any superficial difficulties. But they are sometimes too many to be superficial at some point. When I went to the lecture 'how to balance or blend your life' I did not get to ask my question. Little did I know how much I was going to need that answer 48 hours later. How do you stay focused and happy when despite all the effort to blend and integrate everything, any glimpse of equilibrium keeps being put down by all the things that go wrong. I don't want to give up, i don't want to stay at home yet (especially as I may be even busier at home). But sometimes I do wonder if ot would be easier.

A weekend to remember - returning to Boston 5 years after getting my diploma. I had been to Bostom a few times after, but this time, everyone was back. It beat my expectations.  I was afraid of the somewhat superficial conversation that arises with people you have not seen in 5 years. But even though many of the people you don't meet because you don't, others it is really because you live in different cities and continents, or even if in the same city, life takes the better of you and multi tasking takes a toll on your social life. It was great to hear what people are doing, how many have changed to go pursue new dreams, how many found happiness in their first job and settlement coty after business school.  Being back at Harvard surrou ded with type A over achieving personalities can be tough. I was afraid my already beaten up brain might not react well in light of my constant feeling of failing at something, no matter how big or small. That was a great concern I had with this...

The sun is shining on my face as if telling me it will be my light, I am having a somewhat unprecedented moment. Reading in the terrace, sitting in my red chair, dwelling between the reading, a small game and my lazy email. C sleeps and I can hear her wake up as I start typing. But the sun keeps shining. It is telling me to be in peace. I don't have the ocean to do that here, as I did on my former lemon teas in the afternoon in Praia Grande, the ocean can counsel me no further even though I live in an Island. Funny. So today the sun brought the message and is forcing me to enjoy my day. Do you ever relax, asks my coach - yes, if I schedule time to! Well this was not scheduled, for the first time in a long time, but it feels nice. Even C went back to sleep. Maybe I shut my eyes too.

For those that face faith as a personal experience rather than a purely religious institution, Easter is time for renewal. That is why giving up on something makes sense, because it makes you think what you value and could leave without, as a way to focus your mind on transformation. No, I don't think God will give me praise for making a personal small sacrifice, but I do think it gets me closer to inner peace.  So now Easter is drawing close and as many years before this year calls for transformation. Last year I had the biggest transformation of all with C being born on holy Thursday. This year, my day needs to change. I need to gather the strength to admit that this just does not do it for me anymore. Challenge, making a difference and everyday kindness are indeed the most valuable things for me. And I am certain they are available all in one place. I even found them already. So I am putting it on 'paper' so I don't loose focus and my Easter has a real life meaning, ...

Last night, a post formed inside my head as I was commuting in Westminster but the crowd did not allow me to balance myself, ipad and writing all at once, which means this will probably end up a totally different thought process. I have not written in a while, I have not sort out my life, I have not wom the euro millions and I have not gone through the massive back log I have developed at work and at the NGO. I have also not yet accepted well that our volunteers house got robbed in Mozambique, including the external drive with th work they had done the last 2 months. I just thought I would leave that out there as I focus rather on the positives. What I have done though, even if it does not feel like it, does really outweigh all the have nots. I have come to realize that, as expected, there are good sources of life in the same building and away from my seat as I start questioning that some things are maybe not worth fighting for and you can't always fix what is broken, especially if...