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Buggy out

Should I stay or should I go. It is the question I ask myself many afternoons. I am on maternity leave and I struggle to leave. I want to stay with the baby playing, I want to go spend time with my number 1, i want to do charity, I want to be fit, I want to write, I want to spend time with myself. 
And I just found a combination. I walked to the club with the baby but rather than wait outside the door for a class I cant really watch I am sitting in a cafe enjoying a snack and putting my blog out of misery. The baby sleeps and I got a good work out. Seems simple right?
I often debate my life choices (with myself really) but on mat leave even more. In fact by definition I should be on leave to be a mother. But I fear I may go crazy or mistreat my children if that is all I do for my mat leave. 
I want to read, I want to write. I want to have a go at being fit again, even if it does not work. I want to do stuff that I love - I gave up on the piano but really want to do some writing. And I want to work - yes I want to do charity. Should I work less as I am on mat leave? Perhaps. But it would not be me, and the only mother I know how to be is me. Wanting so many things is me. And it is ok. 
So I will have to take it and just be quick on decisions on what to do and keep my days filled with all the things that I love, including my children. Today, that meant buggy out! 
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