Home Away From Home

OYesterday I went to a talk on how to achieve Gender Equality by Prof. Iris Bohnet. I don't go to much of these and I was nervous as I took my boss along and it might not be great. I left with a page full of notes, wanting to tell everyone about what I just heard and my boss bought the book. Mission accomplished. I never thought of my dad as a feminist, but I guess he was. I grew up wanting to be 'owner of Daddy's company' as in the boss and I never saw my gender as an impediment. Even though he imported construction machinery and there were no women in the business other than my mum, the assistants and the accountant, that never stroke me as much. When I gave him my grades, he always asked who had been better. At times I condemned him for it, but today I focus more on how gender agnostic he was. As I started looking for jobs he was keen to see me suceed and not settle for my first job (which I kind of did). He never took it that I would take anything else than the best...

Second time writing this post, as I hit the wrong key on the ipad. But I won't be stopped, not today.  Today, i became the official mother of a 3 year old, as we threw C's birthday party. I was not here for her birthday as we were in Cape Town. It broke my heart but it could not be avoided. I wanted to be there for Pedro and Sonja special day.  So i thought I would have an urge to over compensate. While I did a bit shopping wise, i did not with the rest. Because i feared drowning in my fears, zi was extremely alert to them. I did not fuse with them, i recognise them and said hi when they came, and eventually they must have gotten bored of waiting for me to stress out and took off to haunt someone that could be haunted. I absorbed the moments of exhuberant happiness as C danced, opened presents and did magic. I asked for help when I needed, including as I struggled with decorations. I even went for a touch of make up and half a nail polish before the party took off. I did not c...