Skip to main content

Peace

Yesterday I prayed for Peace. I do that a lot, probably every week by now (true, I lost the habit of praying daily, shame on me). But Peace not in the sense of world peace, peace as in inner peace. Don't get me wrong, it is not like I don't want world peace, I certainly do, and noises of a war threatening my dear children in Mozambique has shaken me but still, that is not what I prayed for. 
I prayed to have light in my choices and peace to keep going in the certainty that they are the right ones. For me and B. Life does tend to question your faith some times. The first time that happened I was 22 and its resolution brought me as a volunteer to Mozambique, which on its own provoked one of the biggest changes in my life - the creation of a A Little Gesture. My faith has been more or less questioned at different points in time since then, most of the times through a feeling of unfairness seeing other people that are close to me suffering. True, sometimes I was also just frustrated that multiple things happen to me when I am trying to do charity work - not that I consider I am doing God's work but I would at least expect a break in not having my laptop breakdown when I finally am into closing accounts for the NGO. 
Anyway, back to script. I prayed for peace and ended up finding myself imagining a blog post (not bery aligned to what is coming out but I am letting it flow). How can you achieve peace and keep away from frustration? Keep away from feeling that no matter what you do something is still missing. I can't help it when I see what B goes through, and the resilient strength he has, and that I try to have. But I know deep inside there is no peace, no comfort to know that everything will be ok. We say it out loud and we  keep it too of our minds as the engine to justify that we stay on tradk, but the truth is, are we at peace? Probably not, probably the revolt is just accumulating but you keep it for another day, because today, there is just no time for a blow up. Plus, perhaps good news will hit tomorrow.
So I pray for peace, Or at least the feeling of it. 
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Time is what makes us different

I heard what is likely to become one of my top 3 favourite quotes on a podcast on Friday. "Time is the only real democratic asset. We are all awarded the same time, it is what we do with it that distinguishes us".  Now, I recognise that most of us need to work with survive and that is not democratic throughout. But on an equal opportunity basis, this is an interesting way of putting it. For many years I did not understand why MS thought my resume was so interesting. In fact, they chased me during the entire recruitment process, even though I had no idea of moving to London or Finance. I wanted to be a consultant and stay in Lisbon forever. But traditional consultants in Portugal saw nothing in me, and MS did not let me go. When I started screening resumes and hiring people a couple of years later is when I understood why I was different. TIME.  I was truly different about what I did with my time. Not necessarily the basics - choice of degree or anything. But really ...
1 comment
Read more

Short one: D-Day

It is D-Day today :-) I took out the braids, and the clock is ticking. Bernardo will be in Maputo in two hours. We have plans for the weekend and so much to catch up on. I doubt I will be blogging soon, hehe
3 comments
Read more

Blogging

I have not written in a while. As I hit the bottom I was afraid of what might come out and what might be registered in the web for eternity. But it does not matter. As I go through this stage I know that writing is probably one of the best things I can do, and keeping things inside one of the worst. And short of re-starting my book (or books) any time soon, as they feature about 27 in my list of things I wish I could do, this is just as good.  People used to write diaries, now they blog. I reas on facebook that people used to be upset if someone read their diary, now they get angry if no one reads their blog. It is a funny phenomena. I must say that most of times I think no-one is reading, so why bother, and even those reading won't miss it amongst all other things they surely read. But then a comment comes through, an email reminds me of something I wrote and I know that someone out there comes and visits my home away from home. For good or bad :)
1 comment
Read more