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Today

Today became a bad day - and all for the bad reasons. I did really well in leaving the house in the morning. C was sleeping and I controlled myself not to wake her up. I went to work calmly and I did not look back. I even enjoyed the first meetings.
But I could not stop thinking about what was bothering me. And it bothered me even more that my return to work had to be further complicated by something else other than me missing C. 
I was never very good at dealing with situations where I felt personally damaged, but historically dealing with professional problems had never been affected by my crying gene. And that bothers me even more. It bothers me even more because not only was I completely unable to explain myself and my reasoning but I also managed to make it worse by sounding like a desperate woman coming back to work and screaming hysterically to get her job back (without the screaming). Moreover, I should have known that at this point in time i would not be able to control my emotions in the way that it would have been good to do so in order to be clear about my problem with this arrangement.  So now it's a great outcome - the problem remains and I am also not understanding of the needs of the team. 
Good - I am glad I am on the tube now. It won't matter when I see C. Or maybe it will even more... 
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Anonymous said…
I hope you are having better days now.
Your bald Indian friend!
20 October, 2013 23:59
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