Home Away From Home

I am staying by the beach. It is kind of a dream house, a varanda to the sea, a little kitchen and nice fresh wood blinds. It makes it look amazing. Well, it is amazing, but it is not summer here. The last couple of nights me and Isabel do not let go of our little blankets when we are in the leaving room given the air current is so strong. The fact that it does not have windows makes it very fresh in the summer but kind of windy and cold in the winter, i.e. now. Not that it is Boston winter. It is kind of 20 degrees, so it is not bad, but the fact that wind comes in through every window makes it very funny. It always makes us laugh, especially when we try to sleep and we think the roof may fly away at any point in time! Yesterday and today I thought a course about teaching 3-5 years old. No you are not mistak, I never thought children this age. But the mere fact that I had good teachers throughout my life topped with a teaching book from a former volunteer are enough ingredients to be...

I fear I won't make it, I fear no one will understand, I fear to be different, I fear not to fit in. Being here brings us together and brings us apart. In a way I fear no one will ever understand what I go through, in another I fear I will never be able to explain. I trust the little gesture I do will make me whole and at the same time each departure makes me incomplete. I try to spend the most and the least amount of time here and with each person and I always feel it is not enough. I do the same when I go back home and I always feel I don't meet people's expectations. It could be that I do, it could be that they just expect too much or it could be that I just don't do enough. The hours and days are barely enough to accomplish all I feel I could. But they still pass by and they never wait. I try to accept that I will never have it all and choose the little things that make me happy. But it is more talk than anything else as the things that make us happy are never that ...

So I went to Maputo last night, trying to buy some furniture for the Orphanage. Result was close to zero as in the end, none of the 5 shops existing had the metal shelves we were looking for. I guess they don't do them here. We ended up in game, the one we know already, looking at expensive shelves wishing we would buy those pretty little lockers for the kids. In the end, we decided to buy a big closet for the toys and just DIY with the shelves: bricks and wood should do the trick, and maybe some paint to cheer up the room. Tomorrow I go back to Xai-Xai and I kind of look forward to it. Off course I look forward to go back to the house by the beach, but more than that, I look forward for the Orphanage change to kick off. I need something to change, I need to feel like we are reaching this children the way we are reaching the 50 families I visited last week. I feel like the Harvard in me is demanding more results and is frustrated with what I have not achieved yet. I trust the new c...

So I came to spend a month in Mozambique. It seems life wants me to live the real thing. My computer broke after the first 5 minutes on, perhaps an energy peak, perhaps something else, perhaps my computer is just tired of being on all the time. So I am out of working every night, every time, checking email, doing stuff stuff and stuff. I am disconnected, living Mozambique to the most. I am staying in an amazing house by the beach in Xai-Xai, try to go to the beach at least an hour a day at 8am and then go and visit communities and schools. It is hard but it is rewarding, it is heart breaking and it gives me hope. My first 2 weeks are over and my next 2 weeks are starting. I don't know if I will have internet again but I promise a lot of emails, pictures and updates when I return. For now... I go back to them, as they need me most.

Yes, I am going somewhere again. Pretty unbelievable I know. This time I am heading to Mozambique for a month. Hoping to work, hoping to rest, hoping to think a lot of things through. Hoping to finally find the time for myself, hoping to finally hit the brakes. Sometimes I wonder whether I will ever stop being more familiar with the entertainment on board by BA than the hostess, whether I will stop accumulating airmiles and benefiting from airport lounges... Not that I mind them, it just tells you a lot about you. Sometimes I wonder if we will be able to stop. I wish B. was coming with me, but he is not. So I guess I will have to do this on my own. Here I go again...

Post #100 had to be special. So I saved it for today. I today graduated from Harvard Business School. Not being one of those people that always dreamt or even ever imagined this it was a touching day. In fact, I dont think I landed yet, mainly to the fact that in little more than 72 hours I will be leaving the United States, Harvard, Boston, my mini United Nations group of friends. My house is already barely furnished to remind me of reality, bags are everywere and the movers left a long time ago. There is no turning back, this is it. Today I was conceeded the masters of business administration and the President of Harvard claimed we were now equipped to lead people and organizations. Guests could not hear it but amongst us a laughter came up on this sentence. Not that we think it is funny, I think it is mostly a nervous laughter: "is this it, are you sure I am not the admissions mistake?". Yes, this is it. I graduated from Harvard, I wore the little hat, I got my diploma and...

I am now back to Boston after more than 20 days going around South America. The return was hectic between packing, unpacking, laundry, selling furniture, meeting people, getting logistics ready and finally getting my cute cap and gown. It sounds like this is it. My Mum arrived today and I already dragged her to her first HBS event, a BBQ but the weather was nice and she seemed to have enjoyed it despite the jetlag. Tomorrow should be quiet despite the movers "visit" in the morning but then it picks up during the week, with the calendar up to HBS crazy standards. But it is a special week. I am a pile of emotions between celebrating each piece of furniture that I sell and staring at the empty space that it leaves behind. I cry and I laugh, I am sad and I am happy. It will always be hard to leave, no matter how much I want to go. A piece of my life will always remain in Harvard campus and no 5, 10 or 50 year reunion will make it go back. It is hard to speak so I leave it to ...