Home Away From Home

It is astonishing the impression 3 little words can cause. "I love it". Especially when they refer to something you have done as part of your new job... By day 7! Talk about a kick start. It was an easy win, truth be said, but the appreciation came in a moment of thought and will be remembered. On top of the 'it's really nice to have you' the day before, my feedback from my first 7 days on the job can't be but positive. On top of the questions and doubts of the last few months, a nice breeze shows a promising future.  It is harder to write about nice things I find, as they can be expressed in such easy ways. But I still thought I would make a record out of it. 

So it is Friday and it feels less TGIF than the last Fridays, even though I just returned from holiday and the first week tends to be a pain. Today, my TGIF is different, no doubt I still have parts od it, especially in what relates to getting up at 6am and spendint time wit C. But my TGIF is a happy one because of what I accomplished in one week, despite a certain feeling of overwhelmness with all that I could do. I could even say that this migh be a less depressimg Sunday evening, I will always want the weekend to be longer, but this time I may just be ok with the prospect of another week. Points to note - I even followed a wise man's advice and ubered in one day by a neglectable cost. I am really enjoying the disruptive effect this company has in the market and ita potential to improve my quality of life!

I pulled through my first day, I want to say quite positively. I lacked the enthusiasm of a proper first day as it was also my first day back from a short one week holiday and a 2 am bedtime after a delayed flight.  But all in all I feel ok. Sitting on the trading floor is quite an experience, one that I had forgotten about.  Having someone just glued to you that almost feels has their eyes on you all day but does not really care. I guess it takes a few days getting used to.  But I have taken few baby steps - I introduced myself to the eyes next to me (tomorrow I need to go 2 eyes down the row), I brought things from my still existing old desk, I found the kitchen, the ladies and the closest printers.  Most importantly I added value. I am so obsessed about adding value that I fear jumping ahead or sounding foolish. In a way i feel I have so much to bring, in another way I wonder about those who will see me as useless or worse... A fraud! It is the inner critic again....

This was a week to remember. It was my first holiday on my own with C. On my own is obviously an over-statement as I never really accomplish that state (nor would I want to). But it was the most I spent with myself or doing things for myself rather than for others. Even though I had a full schedule I focused. True, there were other things I would have liked to do, many people I would have liked to see. But all in all I did a few good things and I focus on this nice and unusual feeling of satisfaction. Being on my own forced me to decide what I wanted to do and blame only me if I did not do it. And that seriously improves the usual negative feeling of flying time. S continues to wait for me to change my skype 'status'. It is interesting how the few years we spent in London together make it so easy for her to know what's going on without explanation. My status says 'Sara is always fighting time'. What an irony. Truth be said I wrote that years ago and never really use...