Home Away From Home

Today I am losing it. I can just tell. The fact I can no hold a position without pain for more than 5 minutes clearly does not help. I feel like i should be taking it easier, i feel like I can't deliver, I feel like there are such other greater things in life that the weight is just too much. I want to spend time thinking about what to do to raise more funds I want to spend time doing things for pea I want to spend time with the book I have not read in 10 days and I was really enjoying I want to find a nanny check out on schools get ready for the aftermath I want to do proper work when I am at work I want to blog i want to play the piano i want to write Why is it that most of my blogging always end up being about time management?

Some days i get it right some days i get it sort of right :) (I am sure some days I will also get it wrong) Today was a sort of right kind of day. I finally went swimming. That was good. First thing in the morning, a good walk in the morning cold and LA fitness here i am for my 3 day trial. The swim was good and the first challenge was to actually get out of the pool. Gravity hit me big time and I realized i had not been 'carrying' the weight of my little one during the last 30 minutes, and it suddenly all went back to me. The second challenge was to climb the stairs from the basement -2 to the ground floor to actually make my way home. But looking back it went pretty smoothly and i was very proud of myself. Until off course i realized the clock had not really stopped clicking for me. And them it just went all the way insane, trying to go through a to do list that grows by the hour while at the same time trying to manage our first emergency in mozambique. And no matter ho...

So here i an writing this blog about how today is a new start, letting it burst out of my head all the good stuff that in all honesty only comes out once, and i hit the wrong key and it is all gone. I am sure the person in front of me in the tube thinks I am some kind of robot by the way I am typing frantically on my iphone. What he does not know is that this second time round I can not avoid the typos I did not do in the first 1000 words I put out because now it is just not the same and I know i wont be saying all i was feeling and trying to say because I won't be feeling it, I will just be thinking about what I was feeling and writing before because I thought those words to be the best and those feelings to be the most genuine. It is almost like when I was a kid and I had these rashes of inspiration during an insomnia or even in my sleep and I would compose a poem in one go. Most nights I would tell myself I would put on paper by the morning but I would either forget it never re...