As I binged listened
to the Bixchix podcast today (Episode #31 Married with Luggage), I got to meet
this entrepreneur who left her life with her husband to go travel the world.
No, I am not here to talk about quitting my job and travelling the world near
and far (I have 2 children remember?). What called my attention was that as part
of this process, she had to de-clutter, sell her stuff, carry a suitcase to
another country and at the end leave no house behind. I have recently had a
good de-cluttering spree so I relate to it, as I am not quite done yet.
There are still bags to be taken to charity downstairs (hidden from the
children as they have not seen those with toys) and I know there is more in the
house that we can certainly leave without. But this is the extent of my
de-cluttering drive right now, stuff.
What I thought this
episode brought new perspective was about de-cluttering is about so much more than stuff. Betsy Talbot
argues it is actually about de-cluttering from habits, from needs and even from
people that may be toxic. The newspaper you get but never really read, the
breakfast out you have spending double the money without real need or
difference, the regular dinner out just because. I thought it was pretty
amazing that she was able to change her life on the basis of de-cluttering. It
was actually only because she did so that she was able to make fundamental
changes - she was able to not only save, but more importantly make space in her
life for new opportunities, new ways to enjoy her social life, new people to
meet.
In fact, I see
de-cluttering as an opportunity rather than a net reduction. Granted, there
needs to be a gross reduction of stuff, things, habits. But I am still not
convinced the net effect is that you have less stuff. At least at this stage of
life with children and increasing needs. But at least de-cluttering gives you
the space (especially in London) and the opportunity to replenish with a world
of new things or new experiences. No, I am not a shopaholic trying to find a
way to find more things and fit more into my wardrobe. You will actually find
that I am the one with the least amount of clothes in the house. I am still
thorn on who is winning between B and baby S. I think the latter in quantity
but the former in size. In fact, I am quite the opposite, I am a practical
shopper, which means that if there is something in my close that remotely looks
like what I am trying to buy, I am unlikely to make that purchase. So this
summer I removed the cardigans that never get worn from my drawers, and I can
actually look forward to immersing myself into the next sale season and get
some new cashmere (yes, I do cashmere, at least until someone puts them in the
washer again, then my daughter's dolls may do cashmere with my size XSS
cardigans). I find that de-cluttering allows me to feel like I have earned my
shopping, as I really can not live on a pair of black pants if I wear black
pants 3x a week. And I used this with B, which worked out in doubling the
number of charity bags we took away from our room.
But enough about
stuff. If I look back, I must admit I have de-cluttered a few years back, I
just didn't face it as such. There was a time in my life I was overwhelmed with
all that was going on. Working wife and mother, social mantelpiece, social
entrepreneur and board advisor investor to a troubled startup, with friends in
more than 3 continents and tight relationships with people in 3 different
timezones. I de-cluttered my life. It was out of need, and not a conscious act.
As I navigated my mental overload I just did not feel like seeing people, I
just could not cope with filled social events, I focused on the few
relationships that I thought I could manage, mostly through whatsapp really. I
knew I would be back to live, but that was not an immediate act. I also
de-cluttered my life goals. I did not get rid of them, but they were clearly all
happening at the same time. I reduced the amount of business plans I allowed
myself to pursue a year, I reduced the amount of start ups I was involved with,
I reduced the type of work I allowed myself to do in the charity, I reduced the
solo execution mode to hire a team at work. Long process of dealing with
limitations in the 24 hours of the day and the troubles of actually having to
spend a few hours sleeping. Looking back, I certainly de-cluttered. And that
has certainly given me a world of opportunity. I could see with greater clarity
where new opportunities lie, I allowed myself to meet new people when I was
back to wanting to see people. But most importantly, I always protected myself
from hoarding going forward. Hoarding too much expectations about myself. That
gave me a real opportunity. To be happy.
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