Home Away From Home

It is becoming a bit of a tradition to be the one reminding my friends about my birthday with a small fundraising initiative for “A Little Gesture”. I must say, I always wonder whether to do it or not, whether I am just nagging and disturbing. And in the end, for the 3 rd year in a row, I will end up hitting the send button on this fundraising link ! This year, my targets are higher and expectations keep rising. Despite the climate not always positive around us each time I go to Mozambique, my hopes are up. One more smile, one more child walking, one more that we manage to get the dream going . Yes, there are dark days, the one that died with AIDS, the one that died who knows with what, the one that runs away, the 13 year old that gets pregnant. We have learnt that we do not change them all, but with so many smiles around us, we are certain to change many. For all of you that wonder how I make it, despite the hours, the traveling, the sometimes (many) personal sacrifices. Words c

I am looking forward for the holiday. For real, normal person holiday. Those without a schedule, without commitments, without even a computer (maybe keeping an iphone or even an ipad if i get lucky). Will i do that? Or will it be lunch here, dentist there, dinner here, drink there, quick sleep, pass by the beach, not too much, not windy enough for kite, someone else is waiting, check the email, go to meeting, house for sale, one more wedding? Looking forward for the holiday, any holiday really...

I am back to writing, so it seems. Finally, these holiday, I put some time to just let my mind wonder and let the pen lead the way. It felt good I must say. One day I wrote with a purpose, another one with no idea. In the beginning I was even disciplined enough to make sure I would do a little bit every day. It clearly never works all the way throughout the holiday but at least the mind was open to wandering away and let out a bit of all this jam inside! With such a scenario, it is hard to be vague in thought!

It just feels good, no matter what. Spring has more than arrived in Lisbon and even though there are stilk fears of more rain nothing can take the beach away from us. I grew an ability to work and decipher my laptop screen under the radiant sun, even with wrinklea in my eyes. What else was I expexted to do? I had to work and I absolutely had to get rid of my greenish sick colour. So working by the pool revealed itself the best solution. And if life gives you a chance to back in time, do not throw it away. There is nothing like closing the day in Praia Grande, playing rackets and just sitting by the sea with your best friend. As you grow older, life does not give you these chances a lot. We grabbed it, and it felt really good!

It's Friday night and I have rarely been so happy to just go home. Just do nothing, perhaps read a book, perhaps play wii, perhaps just sleep. I took the weekend for myself and to take care of the things I never do. Let's see by Monday how much I really took out of it, how much I worked, how much i NGOed, how much I slept. I am always curious to see if I can be really organized about enjoying my free time! It is a paradox but indeed necessary. In fact i see already how i am missing out for lack of planning - no tennis partner, no massage booked, no groceries delivery :-) oh well, good luck me!

It has been a while since I wrote on this blog as a real blog, i.e., not from the tiny iphone! The good thing about using the laptop to do it is I can upload pictures but not sure I can think of any right now! I am in Barcelona today, for another 24 hours. It barely feels like I am in Barcelona though, I guess because last time I was here was perhaps 15 years ago and I do not remember much of it. Also because I do not know many people here, or I was late in telling them I would be here and then it does not feel like I am in someone else's "home". In the end, I am just somewhere having some meetings and coming back at some point. And then again, it is Barcelona, the Barcelona everyone talks about. The city is full for a convention this week and even the hotels for me and Laura had to be far apart. Restaurants are full and we were lucky to get some nice tapas at Muncho's last night. But maybe we will make a reservation in El Solo tonight, or maybe we will take a stroll

It was an exhausting day today. From beginning to end, given it actually started Sunday night and it is not expected to finish any time soon. An hour delay on the flight does not help the case and this is only boarding time, as who knows when we take off, even less when we land. I need to put my thoughts in order, get ready for a productive night but also think of so many things at the same time: a presentation, the closing of the year, new staff, new plans perhaps a new house. My brain clearly accuses lack of sleep and each time I start to just stop and think it will confuse my thoughts in the highway of multiple urgent and non important things it wants to do. So I write, since writting helps me put things in its place, and hoping it will also take the confusion away..

It's never too late for christmas wishes, never too late to start sending carts, never too late to give people a call, never too late to have a go at re-connecting what should never have been disconnected. It's never too late to finish the blog note I started writing last week! But it can be late to say people you like them, to take the time to look them in the eye and listen, to take the time to watch the sun go down, to just sit and feel the moment. For all this may be too late, because the here and now can not be repeated and tomorrow will indeed be a day too late.

Teebs misses my blogging and to be honest so do I. Most of all I miss having the time (or more the will) to write it, the sense of release after it is all out of my head, the sense of surprise when someone calls me on what they read. I miss that amongst so many other things, I miss sitting on the sofa with a case to read without turning a page for endless hours because Teebs has too many stories that I cant miss, because House is on TV or just because I give away to my power nap desire. New year is meant to bring new things but this has clearly not changed. I still have not find time for myself. Not even new year resolutions or at least thoughts. Time flies and I wish I did not feel it as much. Maybe I will shift new year to the first of february this year and this time have some champagne. That should do the trick?