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Paddington

Standing up at Paddington with no rush to depart. I am the odd one out. I stand enjoying my first real moment of peace today, listening to the singer trying to make a life cheering people up with his music. Hold up the river. Can you really hold up a river? Feels like I am standing here in the middle of this flow and I could not hold up anything if I wanted. People run to trains in a rush to get home and I wondered if any of us has ever wondered if we just take the next train. The benefit of enjoying what is around us along the way rather than only what is on the other side. 
And then reality hits. B rushes me into a train just because it is there and departing in 1 minute. It is packed and I cant walk. This is not what I want. I want to enjoy the ride there with C. It's her first time on the heathrow express. I fail, he gets in and I limp behind. I hold back the tears. The 17.55 was just as good as the 17.40. I wish I had been a few minutes late so there was at least no choice to take this one. It's packed and she never really gets the joy of enjoying the ride. It takes me the whole trip to surf the urge. I know I am stuck in frustration and I embrace it. 
I am at the airport now. Clearly too early. I guess I will have to enjoy the ride here. With a delayed flight that should be achievable. No singer though
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