I pulled through my first day, I want to say quite positively. I lacked the enthusiasm of a proper first day as it was also my first day back from a short one week holiday and a 2 am bedtime after a delayed flight.
But all in all I feel ok. Sitting on the trading floor is quite an experience, one that I had forgotten about. Having someone just glued to you that almost feels has their eyes on you all day but does not really care. I guess it takes a few days getting used to.
But I have taken few baby steps - I introduced myself to the eyes next to me (tomorrow I need to go 2 eyes down the row), I brought things from my still existing old desk, I found the kitchen, the ladies and the closest printers.
Most importantly I added value. I am so obsessed about adding value that I fear jumping ahead or sounding foolish. In a way i feel I have so much to bring, in another way I wonder about those who will see me as useless or worse... A fraud! It is the inner critic again. But today I gave it no space. Today it was all about building something new and a new step in my career. I am now Deputy COO for Equities EMEA. And happy with that.
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