Skip to main content

First day

I pulled through my first day, I want to say quite positively. I lacked the enthusiasm of a proper first day as it was also my first day back from a short one week holiday and a 2 am bedtime after a delayed flight. 
But all in all I feel ok. Sitting on the trading floor is quite an experience, one that I had forgotten about.  Having someone just glued to you that almost feels has their eyes on you all day but does not really care. I guess it takes a few days getting used to. 
But I have taken few baby steps - I introduced myself to the eyes next to me (tomorrow I need to go 2 eyes down the row), I brought things from my still existing old desk, I found the kitchen, the ladies and the closest printers. 
Most importantly I added value. I am so obsessed about adding value that I fear jumping ahead or sounding foolish. In a way i feel I have so much to bring, in another way I wonder about those who will see me as useless or worse... A fraud! It is the inner critic again. But today I gave it no space. Today it was all about building something new and a new step in my career. I am now Deputy COO for Equities EMEA. And happy with that. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Time is what makes us different

I heard what is likely to become one of my top 3 favourite quotes on a podcast on Friday. "Time is the only real democratic asset. We are all awarded the same time, it is what we do with it that distinguishes us".  Now, I recognise that most of us need to work with survive and that is not democratic throughout. But on an equal opportunity basis, this is an interesting way of putting it. For many years I did not understand why MS thought my resume was so interesting. In fact, they chased me during the entire recruitment process, even though I had no idea of moving to London or Finance. I wanted to be a consultant and stay in Lisbon forever. But traditional consultants in Portugal saw nothing in me, and MS did not let me go. When I started screening resumes and hiring people a couple of years later is when I understood why I was different. TIME.  I was truly different about what I did with my time. Not necessarily the basics - choice of degree or anything. But really ...
1 comment
Read more

We are not afraid.. are we not?

I see signs saying we are not afraid. Londoners are tough and endured the bombings of WWII. But those Londoners are hardly the same as the ones here today. Yes people in general are resilient, more than we think we can be when looking outside out. That is anywhere in the world, not just in London. And truth be said there is merit in not letting fear control our lives and terrorism win.  Well I just walked into the district line, 5 stations away from Parsons Green and I am afraid. I am not shaking, crying or running away. But I am afraid mostly because it is all so natural. Life must go on I said, as I decided I was not going to cancel my lunch and avoid the tube. But that is what makes it scary. Life goes on and in an effort to not be afraid we recklessly do not change our habits and rely on the stats that more people die on the road then on terrorist attacks. Reality is, the law of probability does not matter because terrorist events are binary.  So I think about my frie...
1 comment
Read more

Wonderful day

What a wonderful day. I am grateful for this newly found ability to enjoy my surroundings. As this was the second weekend in a roll that we were in Lisbon, the should word was quieter than usual and B triggered the crazy thought. Let's just stay home and do nothing! Wow - can we do that, are we allowed? More than allowed, we do that in London all the time and it is possibly one of my few fears if I ever move here - the inability to do what we want over what others want.  We gave it a go and i indulged into cooking us a proper lunch. As we sat  to do nothing after lunch I commented 'what a luxury'. I truly was not familiar with the concept. And even better family came to visit so we had the combination of both worlds. I ended a day with a friend over for dinner over a bottle of wine. I am grateful for all the little moments that filled my day. I am grateful I did so many things I love in a single day, without even expecting. Thank you.
Post a Comment
Read more