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Peace

Yesterday I prayed for Peace. I do that a lot, probably every week by now (true, I lost the habit of praying daily, shame on me). But Peace not in the sense of world peace, peace as in inner peace. Don't get me wrong, it is not like I don't want world peace, I certainly do, and noises of a war threatening my dear children in Mozambique has shaken me but still, that is not what I prayed for. 
I prayed to have light in my choices and peace to keep going in the certainty that they are the right ones. For me and B. Life does tend to question your faith some times. The first time that happened I was 22 and its resolution brought me as a volunteer to Mozambique, which on its own provoked one of the biggest changes in my life - the creation of a A Little Gesture. My faith has been more or less questioned at different points in time since then, most of the times through a feeling of unfairness seeing other people that are close to me suffering. True, sometimes I was also just frustrated that multiple things happen to me when I am trying to do charity work - not that I consider I am doing God's work but I would at least expect a break in not having my laptop breakdown when I finally am into closing accounts for the NGO. 
Anyway, back to script. I prayed for peace and ended up finding myself imagining a blog post (not bery aligned to what is coming out but I am letting it flow). How can you achieve peace and keep away from frustration? Keep away from feeling that no matter what you do something is still missing. I can't help it when I see what B goes through, and the resilient strength he has, and that I try to have. But I know deep inside there is no peace, no comfort to know that everything will be ok. We say it out loud and we  keep it too of our minds as the engine to justify that we stay on tradk, but the truth is, are we at peace? Probably not, probably the revolt is just accumulating but you keep it for another day, because today, there is just no time for a blow up. Plus, perhaps good news will hit tomorrow.
So I pray for peace, Or at least the feeling of it. 
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