Home Away From Home

Sometimes I feel too low. .  My job by nature involves a lot of rowing against the current, or sometimes just rowing on my own.  I have these immesurable drive to get results and some moments in th day, whére I look and evaluate what I have not progressed, it just brings me down. Today I almost cracked. It does not happen often, I must admit. Maybe I should have blogged during the day to help with the venting process.  An accumulation of incompetence, unwillingness and also just the absolute amount of work it needs to be done by a single person (me) has made me really question why bother. As B says, it's just money, and it's not mine. I wished I could feel like that today.  Maybe i just need to buy those supplements And naturally on top I feel like a bad mother. No matter how I spent the day thinking how I missed C, that wont bring me closer, and what does she care about my thinking. She wants me there. She has struggled with the last weeks, and has become more attached. She ev

B is surprised I started blogging and writing again, now, of all times.  I have barely got any sleep last week, I have been stressed (which happens very rarely), I have been worried about not finishing my project, I worked all the way through Easter (which happens most years), I have been exhausted and not able to cope.  That is precisely why I started writing again.  Writing is a coping mechanism. Moreover, I have been using breaks when I by lunch or am in lifts to go through my twitter or read FB articles, and some of them get my brain thinking (like the multi tasking one).  Usually, I would write in those moments. And also, I have never been so single tasked as I have been in the last 2 to 3 weeks. One project is also not something my brain can cope with. And that includes barely doing any charity work, so really there was just one thing on my mind.  There is no way the hyperactive in me can deal with that for a long time. On Thursday at 3am when I went to bed, I had to resist the

Last week I got asked to write a piece by the Financial News, related to fundraising for remote causes (vs. local).  Though I did not say much, I was so excited. After all these years, here was my very first op-ed, about a theme I definitely had something to say. 650 words to speak my mind and also bring to the world a bit more about ALG.  I was asked to write the article following my participation in the FN Extra Mile 40 list, for which I got nominated a few months back. This is a new list published by the FN, highlighting the service of people working in the city in multiple fronts - from giving, to doing, fundraising and the like. I was (naturally) in the doers list but I have been keeping a profile on the nomination.  Other than the front page on MS Today, not much of the world knew about it. In time, I believe the list will grow similar to Top 50 Influential Women in Finance, but until then, I am just proud to have been on it.  Anyway, back to the article. Kimbal Musk was th

I read an article a few days back, somewhere in between buying lunch and yet another model, about how multi tasking is over rated. It is funny how it reasonated with me, even though I am a born mult tasker.  I do loads of things, And i can deliver on different projects, deadlines, topics and managing different people. Really well. But I do them one at a time, even though they look at the same time. When I am working on something i compartamentalize. If it is something higly absorbing, I go through meal times or loo breaks without note, realizing at 4 pm the deli is close or ran out of bread.  I keep an eye out for the corner of my screen and have usually very defined what will allow me to interrupt - such as an email from my boss or an answer on a question on what I am working on. If less interesting I mqy introduce a greater level of procrastination. Even on email ai try to be focused. If i am cleaning emails, i will do it till the end, to really have the clearest picture of what is o

I have been away. For quite some time. When my wise friend reached out to ask if I was ok, i realized how long it had been. And that was 2 months ago. Truth is, life has not been easy on us this year. Health was not bad but was not strong and we had a few scares.  Nanny was gone and we were left juggling everything  with work put down on our llst. And now that js back up on the list, it has been extremely intense as I seem to remember hinting I was not satisfied in my last performance review. I can't even say I am now over with it, because I am chosing to write the morning after I was the one putting the lights of the trading floor on, as I walked by to leave at 1am. But I know I have to re-start somehow.  Nothing was wrong this year, but also nothing felt quite right, Life was a struggle but nothing really zi would complain too much about. And i guess until it felt a bit better I did not have the mental ability to write. I felt too distant from everything.  I am ready to come back